No baby is born feeling unhappy with themselves or lacking confidence. In most cases, babies are nurtured and loved and they begin life believing that the world revolves around them. Then one day they are told 'No', or told off for doing something 'wrong'...and realise they are not perfect, and no longer feel loved and accepted unconditionally.
Sadly, in many cases, children are regularly given the message that they are not clever enough, not tall enough, not slim enough, not pretty enough, not interesting enough...and grow up with the feeling of generally being 'not good enough'. So, many of us grow up believing we are flawed and need to hide who we truly are in order to be accepted, liked or loved, so we put on a front and live in fear of being found out for who we really are.
The fact is, we are all human, we are all unique, and no-one is perfect! We are all doing the best we can, with what we've learned throughout life from influential adults around us, and using the tools and resources we have at any given time. Once we accept that about ourselves, and others, we can stop making comparisons, accept who we are and feel free to be our true selves. We can acknowledge our past 'mistakes' as being lessons in life, use them to grow, become stronger, wiser and happier, then let them go.
I love the message of 'The Serenity Prayer' by Reinhold Niebuhr:
'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.'
We can't change the past, other people, or certain physical attributes, so we need to accept that. If there are things we are not happy with, and we do have the power to take change them, then it's up to us to do so. Being wise enough to know which are which, is the key to self awareness, self acceptance, and inner peace...
If there are things that you would like to change - perhaps issues connected to confidence, self esteem, stress, anxiety, relationships, phobias, weight, smoking - but are struggling to do so alone, please contact me to find out how I can help you take control of your life.
Meanwhile, it is OK to be you, whoever and wherever you happen to be right now...
Toni Mackenzie - The Self Empowerment Coach.
http://www.innerdepths.co.uk
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